


After the Rain

by dreamsquirrel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsquirrel/pseuds/dreamsquirrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What are you talking about?” he asked, slowly lowering the utensils back down onto the plate, his eyes widening at his lover. When the raven didn’t answer right away, Hinata rose his voice to repeat himself. “I said, what are you talking about--?”<br/>“You heard me loud and clear, dumbass!” Kageyama suddenly snapped, eyes drifting off to the wall beside him. He couldn’t look Hinata in the eye, not like this. “You don’t need me anymore,” he said again, swallowing thickly. “If you can’t figure it out, I’m breaking up with you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! This is just a little oneshot I wrote inspired by a whole line of tags on tumblr. I thought it would be just a little drabble, but it turned out to be a whole oneshot, so I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Happy Reading! :)

* * *

  
  
“Either give me your hand, or end it now, and put us both out of our misery” 

― Judith McNaught,  _Paradise_

 

* * *

 

Four years.

Four _entire_ years.

Four entire years of that idiot bouncing up and down when he got too excited, then screaming like a madman if he got too angry, or crying like the biggest baby whenever something didn’t quite go his way.

Four years of Kageyama Tobio watching it all.

He and Hinata Shouyou had been lovers for about four or so years now, ever since their second year of highschool. After that, they had chosen the same university and picked an apartment together off of campus, even scheduled their classes around each other so that they could be in the same classes, or at least some that were similar so that they could study together. Of course, neither would really get much studying done most of the time, but either way, the two of them seemed to be getting along just fine.

At least, that’s what Hinata had been lead to believe.

No, it wasn’t like the raven was cheating on him or anything that detrimental, but there was always this thought that would chew on the back of Kageyama’s mind whenever he was walking to class alone or just when Hinata was out doing something and leaving the raven to sit in his own thoughts: was Hinata truly happy? There were many times when Kageyama could read his boyfriend like a book since he just knew the other so damn well, but the scariest times were those when he couldn’t understand Hinata at all.

And as of recent, it felt like that was more often.

Their fighting had been kind of rough recently, but Kageyama wouldn’t lie: it had mostly been caused by his own agitation. School was already difficult enough –plus volleyball training too- so the stress had been immense lately. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Hinata was under pressure too, and that one thought that gnawed on Kageyama’s mind just ate at him all the more.

“You don’t need me.”

The words slipped out stormy evening, when the two were sitting together and eating yet another microwave dinner; neither of them really had the time to cook anymore between schoolwork and volleyball. Hinata was about to take a bite of rice when his chopsticks froze in his hand. “What are you talking about?” he asked, slowly lowering the utensils back down onto the plate, his eyes widening at his lover. When the raven didn’t answer right away, Hinata rose his voice to repeat himself. “I said, _what are you talking about_ \--?”

“You heard me loud and clear, dumbass!” Kageyama suddenly snapped, eyes drifting off to the wall beside him. He couldn’t look Hinata in the eye, not like this. “You don’t need me anymore,” he said again, swallowing thickly. “If you can’t figure it out, I’m breaking up with you. You’d be happier without me, anyway.”

Kageyama had wanted to say this for a good while now, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up and put it into the right words. Hinata had his own life to live, his own studies and his own dreams of being in the Olympics. And they had been fighting so much recently, that maybe the raven was just bringing Hinata down? That’s what Kageyama believed, anyway. Hinata would smile more without him, be that radiant sun to someone who could really lift him up into the clouds. That someone wasn’t Kageyama, and he knew it. With an exhale and a heavy, but silent heart, the raven slowly rose up from the table and turned around, not even waiting for Hinata’s answer.

It would be better this way.

Just don’t look at him, _don’t look at him._

“You…!”

Kageyama wanted to start walking, but that one broken word caused his legs to freeze in place, as if the word Hinata uttered was a magic spell to paralyze him. The ginger’s tone almost reminded him of a house that suddenly lost its foundation, left hanging there for those few silent seconds of shock. _You can’t wait around like this, you need to just_ leave _him,_ the setter mentally chastised himself. As soon as his feet decided to obey him, he heard this loud clatter.

Hinata practically kicked the chair backward and shoved the table to the side on his way to grab a tight hold on the back of Kageyama’s t-shirt. “You can’t _do_ that!” Hinata snapped, but the hurt was obvious through his angry tone, and it just made the guilt in Kageyama’s chest swell painfully, “You can’t just decide that—“

_Fwap!_

Kageyama sharply turned around and slapped Hinata’s hand away, but kept his navy eyes away from his lover, trying to run away from the guilt. “I’m not deciding. It’s fucking obvious, isn’t it?!” Kageyama hissed at him.

“OBVIOUS _MY ASS_!” Hinata shouted back, and without warning, the rage took him over. The bright sunshine child had turned into a ball of fire, snagging a hold of Kageyama by the collar and giving him one hell of a punch in the jaw, enough for the setter to stumble backward. However, before he could fall, the redhead grabbed him by the shirt _again_ and forced him against the wall. “How could you just think so _little_ about yourself!? And about me too, do you really think that I could be happy without you?”

The worst part of it was that Kageyama _knew_ that Hinata would be hurt, since no break-up was painless. He _knew_ the redhead would lose himself in rage, and that’s why he just refused to look at him, and he refused to accept or deny anything else besides the fact that Hinata would just be better off without him. No matter how many times Hinata shook him and smacked the back of the raven’s head against the wall, Kageyama wouldn’t budge.

It was all for Hinata’s sake anyway.

“Are you listening to me, you idiot?!” Hinata roared at him, “You think that you can go ahead and say this-this-this complete _bullshit_ and expect everything to be okay? I don’t think I could ever be with anyone else besides you. Hell, I’ve never been _happier!_ I mean, I know we’ve been fighting, but there’s been so many days before that, when I’ve seen you smile a real smile, and we’ve spent all day just doing nothing but fucking _everything_ at the same time! Does any of that _mean anything_ to you anymore!?”

_Of course it does._

_It means the world to me._

_I want to see you smile every day._

_Can’t you understand that_ I’m _the biggest problem?_

Those things were all what Kageyama wanted to say, but the words just wouldn’t come out. That would give him an opportunity to take the temptation of giving up, on staying with Hinata for just a little while longer. Yet, the setter knew that he would just make Hinata feel all the more worse anyway. “Answer me!” Hinata cried out at him, smacking him against the wall again.

Kageyama just remained silent.

“Please… Just look at me, _Tobio!_ ” Hinata shouted, but his voice crumbled at the name, which made Kageyama’s eyebrows jump. Although they had been so close for this long, it was weird to call each other by their first names, and they never usually did unless something was truly serious. It was just a silent agreement between the two, since they were just so used to bickering and nagging each other just so casually. That name made Kageyama slowly –and regrettably- meet Hinata’s eyes.

The shortest way to put it was that his lover was an absolute mess.

Hinata’s rosy cheeks were flushed in anger, but wet with a river of tears that dribbled down his face. His thin, pink lips were quivering, parting every once in a while to suck in a hiccupping breath, but the thing that stabbed into Kageyama’s _soul_ the most was Hinata’s eyes. Those burnt-umber orbs were like the sunset, bright and warm, on the border between bright innocence and deep, undying determination. On any given day, they would burn like a passionate fire that was so hot it would eat up the oxygen that was in Kageyama’s lungs.

That night, the fire was dead.

It was as if the rain outside had completely put it out, leaving nothing but muddy ashes in Hinata’s eyes. The pain coming from them was almost unreal, and it blew the setter out of the water. Yes, he had expected Hinata to be hurt, but his predictions were nothing like this. “I don’t want you to g-go,” the redhead croaked out, wiping his tears, since he just couldn’t hold them back anymore. “Please… J-Just hear me out, okay? I know that we’ve been fighting a lot, b-but I can’t dream of a day without you in it, I really can’t anymore because… Well, y-you’re really the only reason why I keep smiling.”

_But don’t I just cause your misery?_

“K-Kageyama, I c-can’t have you leave…!” Hinata choked out, his grip on his lover’s shirt loosening in an attempt to pull away, but it felt like he was trapped there like a magnet being pulled in. “I don’t want you to go!” His voice softened, down to a broken whisper, “W-We said we’d go take on the world together, right? And g-go all the way to the Olympics, right? But if you wanna leave me… If that’s what you really want… then get out of here.” Hinata’s hand dropped from the raven’s shirt and flew up to wipe his eyes vigorously.

Kageyama didn’t move, the shock too great for his limbs. He had taken every hit and shake, knowing it was coming, and knowing that it was a punishment for all of Hinata’s suffering, but hearing those words shook something else in him. Almost every day, Hinata could mindlessly say “I love you!”, but hearing that he was the one reason for that gorgeous smile, that he was even greater than _volleyball_ , for God’s sake…

It got him.

Kageyama reached out for his lover and slowly brought him in his arms, pressing him tight against his chest and burying his nose in those ginger curls that smelled like a warm summer afternoon, breathing in that scent he had fallen in love with since the first time his nose was blessed enough to smell it. He could feel the redhead’s muscles tense beneath him, but slowly relax as Hinata just let himself sob. He couldn’t hold himself up anymore, and his hands curled in to cling onto Kageyama’s shirt so that he wouldn’t fall.

The pair slowly sunk to the floor, just holding onto each other while Hinata broke down completely on Kageyama’s chest, letting all the pain flow out through his tears. In honesty, he was truly afraid of losing his lover, since he had been the one person to teach him so many things, to show him what kind of athlete and person he could _really_ be. There were some nights when Hinata didn’t know whether or not he really deserved Kageyama, but he’d never complain, since he just wanted –no, _needed_ the setter by his side.

Salty tears burned in the corners of the other’s eyes as he just held onto Hinata tight, never wanting to let go, not ever again. This wasn’t what Hinata wanted, and this definitely wasn’t what Kageyama wanted either. Hearing him sob and wail like this, crumpled into this small mess on his chest, it really broke Kageyama’s heart.

This kid, he really had changed him.

Back a long time ago, he wouldn’t have given a shit if Hinata started crying; he wouldn’t have felt this much pain at hearing those hiccups and coughs, and there was no way that he would shed a single tear, or even bat an eyelash. Now, he was about to fall into a sniveling mess.

“D-Didn’t you hear me?” Hinata whispered hoarsely, “If you wanna go, then just get lost!” The shorter male was trying his best to come off as angry, but the best he could do was just cry and tremble in Kageyama’s arms. Even his grip had tried to be tight and fierce, but his worry and hurt had only allowed his hold on the raven to be delicate, though unyielding.

“Nn,” Kageyama murmured as the tears dripped down from his closed, navy eyes. He just held onto his lover tighter, a silent way of speaking his mind, since stringing together the right words wasn’t necessarily his forte.

His quiet way to say, _“I’m here.”_

Hinata just curled up in Kageyama’s lap, pressing his ear to his chest to listen to that symphony which was Kageyama’s heart beating. He could hear how his lover’s usual relaxed breathing was choppy, a long drag of breath with a few sharp inhales every now and then. The heat that radiated from Kageyama’s body, the feeling of his arms wrapped around him, it all was just so comforting. The fact that the raven was here holding him... was here… with him…

…could put him to sleep.

When the sniveling sounds from below slowly died out, Kageyama pulled his head back to see that Hinata had drifted off into sleep, the world just becoming too exhausting for him. The raven slowly rose, cradling Hinata in his arms. As he carried the redhead to their bedroom, _that goddamn thought_ decided to seep into his mind, plaguing him like a virus.

Was it horrible of him to think that he could just get up and go, leave him like he was supposed to?

Like nestling a baby into its cradle, Kageyama gently laid Hinata into the sheets. He could have just left right then and there, but Hinata’s fingers were hooked into the cloth of his shirt. Kageyama could have just as easily brushed his lover’s hand away, but he couldn’t do that. The image of Hinata’s face flooded his mind, the one where he was screaming and wailing, and every motion of his lips, every single tear, every time his brow furrowed and nose crinkled, it all felt like daggers twisting into his chest.

Yes, he had caused Hinata pain.

Yes, he had been the reason why Hinata wouldn’t talk to him for _days_ , why Hinata would whine and cry and scream his heart out.

However, the only way Hinata would crumble down like a house would be if he had lost his foundation; Kageyama had never realized, in those four years of this relationship, that he was it.

The raven curled up in the bed right beside his lover, just holding him close and breathing in his scent, and mentally screaming at himself for scaring the ginger out of his wits like that. As he buried his face in those tangerine locks, he just mouthed the words, “I’m sorry,” over and over again, wanting them to be hanging out in the air, but not wanting to wake up his sleeping lover. He had been through enough. After the rain outside died down a slow, lazy drizzle on the window pane, the raven ended up drifting off too, keeping himself nuzzled in Hinata’s arms.

When the redhead woke up the next morning, the first thing he saw was Kageyama Tobio’s gently sleeping face and nothing else, and at first Hinata felt like he was dreaming. He was really here, wasn’t he? After all that, Kageyama decided to stay after all? Or had that fight last night just been some awful dream? Either way, he just couldn’t believe it.

“You’re here,” Hinata breathed, ever-so-quietly, burnt umber eyes flickering up to gaze at Kageyama’s face, “You’re really here.”

“Of course I am,” Kageyama whispered softly, almost immediately. Had he been awake for a while longer and heard him!? “I’m not going anywhere, _Shouyou_.” The name curled off his lips groggily, a soft groan in the briskness of the morning, and it sent chills up Hinata’s spine. The redhead sucked in a breath, his cheeks burning a bright pink as happiness swelled up inside him, and he had to do something before his chest would burst. With his small, thin hands, the redhead reached up and grabbed a hold of Kageyama’s dumb face and kissed his lips with everything he had, peppering all sorts of butterfly kisses on those slightly parted lips.

Kageyama almost reminded him of a storm, since in a way he could be so destructive and cloudy, all sorts of gloom and doom and a pure tempest if he had been messed with too much. However, another thing about storms was that they poured down rain the way that Kageyama let out his emotion. Some days it would be a lazy drizzle, other days it would flood, but either way, the water gave the world life and the redhead simply couldn’t be happier.

After the rain, their world would always bloom.

 


End file.
